I worry about my kids all the time, and I know other moms do too. Inevitable, right?
But worrying takes valuable energy!
It’s like dating a hot vampire – he may captivate you for awhile, but eventually he’s gonna drain you.
Ever seen a dog circle around and around before lying down? When we’re in worry-mode, that’s basically what our brains are doing. Stuck in a pattern of negative thinking keeps us from enjoying our days and frustrated with sleepless nights.
I don’t know about you, but I not only want to appreciate each precious moment with my kids, but I also want more energy, not less!
So how can we keep from falling into the worry trap?
Well, I’ve tried telling myself to just stop it already. That’s about as effective as telling Bella Swan to just stop thinking about Edward Cullen. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Rather than trying to stop worrying about my kids, I’ve been on a mission to find ways to manage through it.
Here’s what’s helping (at least for now).
Pay attention to what those nerves are saying.
Worrying accomplishes nothing. I can’t stop irrational thoughts from appearing in my mind’s eye, but I can choose not to give them weight.
What am I afraid of? Is it something in my power to prevent? Is there something I can actually question, research, or follow up on? Or is what I’m worried about irrational? I find that when I let my nervous energy build up, it’s because I’ve subconsciously used a past experience (personal or someone else’s) to fuel or justify my worrying.
On the other hand, if my responses make good common sense, then it’s not worry – it’s concern. As a mom, I’m not only entitled to express concern about my kids, I’m responsible for answering to it.
The same feminine energy that allows me to feel sensitive and empathetic can also be channeled into creation. Whether it’s art, a beautiful space, or a new recipe, it doesn’t really matter as long as the process is enjoyable or soothing to me.
Even when I’ve put on a brave face, but still doing the what-if dance in my mind, it never ends well. Intuitively my kids just know. They feed off it and soon everyone’s climbing the walls.
Instead, when I write, draw, paint, clean or even rearrange some furniture, I feel better and put out a calmer vibe for everyone around me.
Settle into the knowing.
To me, worrying about my kids is like running into a vamp in Forks or Bon Temps – sort of comes with the territory. But, with due diligence done and creative energy tapped, I can settle into the knowing that I’ve done my best.
This kind of settling takes effort. It takes support of my partner and friends who listen and encourage instead of trying to fix or feed into my what-ifs.
Each time I settle into this knowing, I circle a little less before getting comfortable. I stand a little more firmly in everyone, including our kids, having a right to their own life experience (including their own pain – not a re-creation of mine). I trust a little more in divine freedom.
So I’m not convinced I’ll ever be able to stop worrying altogether – especially when it comes to my kids – but I’m making progress.
Let’s learn from and support each other! What’s worrying you right now, and how are you managing through it? Please leave your comment below. ♥